The Darkest Day
by AngelaRB
Summary: How those close to him deal with the last minutes of Cyril O'Reily's life...


Disclaimer: The Oz characters aren't mine (though I can't imagine what I'd do if they were…hehe), and I'm borrowing them from the great Mr. Fontana for a while. I'll put them back nicely when I'm finished. 

Note: This is a little something I thought up last night. Maybe I just wanted to prove that I could write an Oz story that isn't a sequel to an original story I've already written (See "A Not So Simple Plan"). -smile- Reviews are greatly appreciated.

At 11:15 p.m. Dr. Gloria Nathan looked at the clock on the bottom right hand corner of her computer screen and wondered where the time had gone. When she woke up bright and early that morning, she knew that this wouldn't be a good day and she assumed that time would drag by relentlessly slow. To her surprise, and despair, over sixteen hours had passed in what seemed like an instant.

Normally Gloria would have already been in the chamber getting ready to do her job on a night like this, but under these circumstances she had begged and pleaded for Leo and Tim to let her pass this one up and call in another doctor to do it. Despite everything that had happened over the past few years she truly loved her job, but the most horrible thing she had to do every so often was administer the lethal injection to the men who had come to the end of their stay on death row. 

Gloria hated…_hated _every night that she had to inject that lethal dose of poison into one of them. No matter how revolting the man was lying before her, at the moment that the injection entered his bloodstream and he looked up at her she saw the sweet, innocent child that he been at one point shining through his dying eyes. It happened _every time._

That's why Gloria knew that there was no way in hell that she would be able to administer the dose to Cyril O'Reily. 

In simple terms, she had told Tim and Leo that that if they didn't call someone else in to do it Cyril wouldn't die on the scheduled night because she wouldn't do it. They'd have to fire her if they didn't like it. Both men had shamed her and told her that refusing to do her job wasn't like her, but Gloria got the impression that they understood. 

It was rather ridiculous, now that she thought about it. Cyril had murdered her husband and had basically made her life a living hell for a while, but the thought of him dying made her want to cry. Hell, if Ryan hadn't told him to do it Preston would be alive and well and the shit that had happened like her rape never would have occurred. Rightfully, she should have wanted Ryan as dead as Cyril was about to be but she couldn't bring herself to hate him either. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, turned off her computer, and sighed to herself before she got up to go to the bathroom. Ryan…now that was a completely different story. Ryan O'Reily had been both the main reason why she came to work everyday and the main reason why she often questioned her sanity for still being here for a long time. Gloria thought back to the time that she confessed that she loved him to Sister Pete. When she spoke those words Gloria felt a weight rise from her shoulders that she couldn't describe with mere words, but she also knew that loving him was the definition of _wrong._

Ryan was ultimately responsible for Preston's death, and while she had loved her husband in her own way her love for Preston didn't compare to what she felt for Ryan. It didn't even come close. 

When she left her office and headed down the hall toward the bathroom something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. One of the CO's was standing near the entrance of a room where a dim light shone between the open blinds of the window. When she passed by, her breath caught in her throat when she saw that the O'Reily family was sitting in the room. Cyril and his mother were sitting on the sofa holding each other and Ryan was sitting across from them watching intensely while he played with the gold chain that always hung around his neck. They were approaching the end of their time on Earth together, so Gloria hurried by the window hoping that nobody would see them. 

She stopped dead in her tracks though when she heard a voice call to her from inside the room. "Dr. Nathan!!" When she looked back inside the window her heart dropped to her feet when she saw Cyril pull himself away from Suzanne and leap to his feet, obviously thrilled to see her. "Hey, Dr. Nathan!"

Ryan stood up next to Cyril and looked straight into Gloria's eyes. The fire and passion behind those green eyes was gone for now, and all that was left was a look of agony and defeat that she never imagined she'd see on his face. 

The CO opened the door and motioned that she could go inside if she wanted to. She slowly did so and almost got the breath knocked out of her when Cyril grabbed her into a fierce hug. "It's so good to see you! Look Ryan! Dr. Nathan came to see us and mom!"

"It's good to see you too, Cyril." When he finally let go of her she looked up at his face. He was strikingly handsome just like his brother, but he had none of the swagger and intensity that Ryan displayed every time she saw him. Cyril had the most gentle eyes she had ever seen, and even though he was approaching the last half hour of his life he looked at her and everyone around him like he was the happiest man alive. 

__

Does he even know that he's about to die? Gloria had to wonder. 

"Hello Doctor." Suzanne Fitzgerald, Ryan and Cyril's mother who had reentered their lives not long ago, stood up and took her youngest son's hand. "I'm glad you're here. Cyril was talking about you earlier. You made quite an impression on him, it seems." 

"Really?" Gloria looked up at Cyril again and gave him a smile that seemed to make him blush a bit. They all turned toward the door when the CO opened it and looked straight at Cyril. 

"It's time to go."

"No, please. Just give us another minute." Suzanne was suddenly trembling and her voice was shaky. 

"Sorry. I was told to take him at 11:30."

"Where are they taking me, ma?" Obviously, Cyril had no clue what was about to happen. Gloria had to say something to him.

"Officer, just a second." Gloria took both of his hands in hers and looked up at him one last time. "Cyril, this officer is about to take you to a place that might be scary to you, but I don't want you to be scared. You're going to lie down on a bed, and some people are going to tie you down…You know, sort of like those bad days that you had in the hospital."

"I don't wanna go!"

"Cyril, you have to. But when you lie down I want you to do something. Close your eyes and think about your favorite place in the whole world. Think about this place and pretend that Ryan and your mom are with you. Keep your eyes closed and forget about what is going on around you. Can you do that for me?" She looked up at Suzanne and could barely stand to look at her tear stained face. Gloria didn't want to imagine what Ryan was going through behind her as he was still seated. 

"Okay, Dr. Nathan. Will all of you be there?"

"Your mom will be. But Ryan and me won't be. I'm so sorry."

The CO took Cyril's arm, and that was enough to make Ryan come to life. He sprung to his feet and cried out, "Get your hands off my fucking brother!" The officer put his hand on his nightstick, but Gloria raised her hand to stop him and stepped between him and Ryan. 

"Ryan, there is nothing you can do about this. And I know you don't want to be sent to the hole tonight of all nights." Ryan's face softened a bit and his enraged scowl turned into that heartbreaking look of agony again. He reached over Gloria and scooped Cyril into his arms. 

"Bro, I'm sorry for everything. I love you so fucking much. You know that, right?" 

"Yeah, I know. I love you too, Ryan." 

The officer gently took Cyril's arm again. "I really have to take him now." 

While he was still in Ryan's arms, Suzanne kissed Cyril's head and stroked his hair. "Honey, don't be scared. I'm going with you." 

"Okay mom." Cyril let go of his brother and Ryan kept touching him as the officer took him away. When they were simply holding hands Ryan didn't seem to want to let go for a moment, but Gloria touched his back and told him, once again, that there was nothing he could do about this. Ryan slowly loosened his grip of Cyril's hand, and when they were apart he quickly turned away from them and punched the wall so hard that Gloria thought he'd break his hand. He let out a loud cry of _fuck _and sat down on the sofa with his hands entwined in his hair. 

"Fuck, they're gonna kill my fucking brother. They're gonna kill Cyril! FUCK!" His fierce glare was starting to come back and Gloria was suddenly afraid. She wasn't afraid for herself because she knew that Ryan would rather die than hurt her, she was just…afraid. Gloria sat down next to him and hesitated before she touched him. 

"Ryan, it's wrong in every way that this is happening, but you know that you tried your best to help him." Another CO entered the room to get Ryan, and Gloria sprung to her feet before Ryan could react. "Officer, can you give us a few minutes?" The officer hesitated for a moment. "Please…His brother is about to die and he shouldn't be alone in his pod right now. Just give us a few minutes." The officer gave in and left the room.

"Gloria, why the fuck aren't you there doing it?"

"I can't kill him, Ryan. I couldn't live with myself." 

He stood up backed her up to the wall with his hands on her shoulders. His face was mere inches from hers and, and Gloria couldn't help but notice that her pulse quickened a bit even under these sad circumstances. "You should have gone and done your fucking job. Now some prick doctor that Cyril doesn't even know is gonna do it. Shit, if it was me being executed I'd want you there." 

"I couldn't do it in that case either." The thought of giving Ryan the lethal injection hurt more than the thought of giving it to Cyril. _You need therapy, Gloria. _

Ryan tried to give her a half smile that only slightly resembled his normal cat-like smile. "You mean you wouldn't kill my ass if you had the chance?"

"No…I wouldn't." 

Awkward silence passed between them for a moment. "Why wouldn't let me go watch with my ma? Fuck Gloria, he needs me out there." 

"Ryan, do you mean to tell me that you wouldn't have caused a scene? I know you would have. I'm actually surprised that Tim let you come sit with Cyril and your mom for this long."

"Shit, tell me how you really feel."

"No…I didn't mean that the way it sounded. They never let inmates watch executions, even if they're related."

Suddenly the clock in the room, which was set to chime every fifteen minutes, rang so loud that they both jumped. "Fuck, he has fifteen minutes." Ryan's eyes started to mist up and Gloria gently took his hand. 

"C'mon. Sit down." She pulled him down on the sofa next to her and she sat up on her knees. 

"Gloria, I was such a dick to him our whole lives."

She knew she just needed to let him get it all out. "I know."

"I treated him like shit, ya know. GOD! If I hadn't told him to-" Gloria nodded to let him know that he didn't have to say it. "Jesus, he wouldn't even be in here now if it wasn't for me." 

"Ryan, we've all done things we're not proud of, and the trick is to find a way to get through it and go on with our lives."

Ryan shot to his feet and started to frantically pace around the room. "Life? Gloria, I'm gonna be in here for the rest of my fucking life! What kind of life is this? Cyril was all I had left, and now he's gone!"

Gloria got up and put her hands on his face, forcing him to look down at her. "Ryan, you're not alone. As long as I'm here you are _not _alone." He touched her hands that were still rested on his cheeks and closed his eyes. To her horror, Ryan started to sway a bit and she made him sit down again. He buried his face in his hands and from the spasms that seemed to pass through his body Gloria could tell that he was crying. She hesitated for a moment, then slowly started to rub his back. 

"Shhh, it's going to be okay…Cyril's going to be okay."

Ryan lifted his face from his hands, totally exposing his face that was covered with tears. Gloria adored this man…this murdering, lying bastard. She _adored _him. And for the first time in her life she saw in him a reason why she felt so strongly toward him. He had a soul after all. Without thinking, Gloria held out her arms to him and Ryan collapsed in her lap. He seemed to be trying to curl up as tightly as he could next to her while she stroked his hair and continued to rub his back. She held him for what seemed like hours, but at two minutes til midnight she kissed his forehead and told him that there wasn't much time left. 

"Let me just stay here like this, Gloria. Please." 

"Okay. I'll stay here as long as the CO will let you." 

When the stroke of midnight passed and the clocked boomed its deafening chime, Ryan buried his head in her lap and started to sob again. "It's over…He's fucking dead."

"I know, Ryan. I know…" The whole prison seemed to be even more still and lifeless than usual. They had taken away what was possibly the only pure soul in the place. 

"Gloria?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Gloria's heart burst at the sound of those words. It wasn't the first time she had heard them come out of his mouth, but this time it meant more to her than anything. "I…I love you too, Ryan."

It was 12:01 a.m.


End file.
